Women: What is your vajayjay trying to tell you?

Women: What is your vajayjay trying to tell you?

One of the human body parts that is fascinating is the lady’s low toupee or as we all say… vagina. Well, some people from the Indian community prefer vegana. I am guessing they are always fascinated by it and that is the reason why they keeping asking for photos of vegana on Facebook and other social media sites. Most of you can relate, right?

You will probably notice that I will use different names to refer to the Vagina because vagina to me sounds disgusting. It is a flower so just bare with me because even writing vagina is making me feel as though I am going to cover my face and pretend that no one is going to read this.

Rosebuds come in different shapes and sizes and some even in different colors.  But the care you give to all of them is the same. Your flower is able to take care of itself well enough , so you can call it independent. I am not sure if I should use the pronoun it or her but since I started with it, I might as well continue.

So, your voda can clean, heal and protect itself. Also, most importantly, it tends to know what is going on in the rest of your body and try to communicate to you. What are some of the things that your pupusa is trying to tell you?

You should just abstain or practice celibacy darling

 When was the last time you saw a gynaecologist? Never? I knew it. Funky smell, too much discharge,unexplained pain or burning, any discomfort, a flower that looks like a crossbreed of a cauli flower and a barnacle, vaginal sores and blisters… Need I continue? If your Pupusa says it, you have to stop whatever you are doing and go see a gynaecologists. You might have a disease that will make you close your legs and for those who can’t, you might want to consider using a condom.


UH-OH… You had garlic

You thought garlic only gives you bad breath, didn’t you? I actually for some reason hate the smell of garlic and green pepper. Point is, reduce your intake of garlic. Other foods include onions, asparagus, broccoli, red meat among others. What happens is that while your pee goes back to its normal smell two to three times later after eating these foods, the smell just stays on longer on your vjj. You might consider taking more fruits, yogurt and nuts if you want to improve your vaginal odor.

You are stressed

When you are stressed out, your minni lets you  know by going into dry mode and by being more susceptible to yeast infections. When our bodies suffer an imbalance, the lactobacillus bacteria fails to keep the Candida genus (yeast) from overgrowing, leaving you with that itchy, smelly, cottage cheese situation. Consider that the next time you have a situation downstairs and you can not seem to understand what you did

You are pregnant

When you are pregnant your periods finally disappear and your boobs start celebrating by being fuller but sore. Your peach is not left out because it also produces a lot more leukorrhea (that vaginal discharge you sometimes notice in your undies), because your estrogen levels are increased during pregnancy. Not to mention you’re more prone to yeast infections when you’re pregnant because of all that estrogen. 

You have an infection

Your papaya is like a mother to you. It is always there to ensure that you are okay. So, if your health is bad, you will either experience pain or have a discharge.

fishy-smelling discharge that is yellow, green, or gray is usually a sure indication that you have vaginosis, which can easily be treated with antibiotics. A discharge that resembles cottage cheese and accompanies some vagina itch, inside and out, means you probably have a yeast infection. A “frothy” vaginal discharge that smells of the ever so delightful scent of rotten eggs, is likely to be trichomoniasis.

If you have any of the above signs, it goes without saying that you do need to see a doctor.

You are ovulating

During ovulation, there is increased discharge than any other time of the month which you will notice, if you choose, when cleaning yourself up after peeing. As long as it it not yellowish or foul smelling, you are good. For dryness and less discomfort, you can use pantie liners.

You are going to have your period

This is that time of the month where you feel like firing your own boss. Your emotions kick in 100 times more and your mood swings hit from every corner of the universe. Then there are the cravings. Damn, this topic is just too broad. Let me just narrow it down to the fact that your little murderous monster downstairs also becomes sensitive, sometimes painful and all you want to do is stitch it all up. Right before your period, you may also notice that you might have a discharge which most of the times is completely normal.

You should reduce your carbs

Yeast infections. Yes, I said it. I am personally a pizza fan but guess what… it is as bad for your coochie as it is to your weight. This feels like betrayal from your own partner from downstairs, right? Well,you should actually note that too much sugar or glucose makes it easier for Candida albicans to latch on to vaginal cells and not let go. So go easy on that pizza, or those bagels next time, okay?

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