My experience with liars and users

My experience with liars and users

My blog from last Thursday about embracing your flaws somehow inspired me to write this blog. Apparently I got a few friends telling me how they often feel like they always have to act as the bigger person. This is especially when some people act like they are perfect when honestly they are not. Click here to read the full article

Earlier this year, I got more close to God and I have been praying that He shows me the real people in my life. I have a friend who is very close to God and somehow I ended up adopting a lot especially praying from them. I have come across people in my life who wanted something or were being friends with me because they had something to gain.

 Funny thing is, I am a very trusting person and in the recent past, I used to give people so many second chances. It definitely did not work out so well for me because I ended up hurt by people I called friends. I was being warned by even their friends that they were really toxic. Word of advice: ALWAYS DO A BACKGROUND CHECK ON YOUR FRIENDS IF YOU CAN AND HANG OUT WITH THOSE FRIENDS AROUND THEIR FRIENDS. Chances are, you will actually get to know someone from how they treat other people and how they interact with others.

The Dilemma

I have been debating on how to write this piece for a while because I was not sure whether telling the stories was such a great idea. But I guess I finally figured out after consulting with my sister and God(laughs nervously). I thank God for you Moh. 

I am not perfect either. Maybe I have hurt people even without my knowledge. But I always pray that God forgives me if there are such scenarios. Where I find out that I did someone wrong, I always apologize for it. I also try to make peace with myself. I am those people who feel really bad when I hurt people especially those that I care about. 

The Hurt

I have been lied to by people I called friends and I have had friends be in my life because they had a motive. I had written a whole 2000 words talking about a person who hurt me so bad in the name of friendship. But I just realized that I am not that person who trolls others. On Monday, someone tried to hack my blog before I had the chance to post that blog. After a few days of soul searching and debating on whether to post the blog, I decided that not posting was good for me. 

Trust me, I had the urge to post that blog and really talk about certain people but to be honest, that would not give me any satisfaction. I decided to go with forgiveness because if I have learnt anything this year, it is that once you forgive those who did you wrong, then that is when you find healing.

Moving on

If you know you did me any wrong, and you are reading this, just know that you are forgiven and I hold nothing against you. But, I am not a saint and that is why you should not expect me to forget. Clap-backs only prove that you are just like that person who did you wrong, or even worse. The clap-backs offer you no comfort and if anything, they make you more angry and frustrated.

Words of Wisdom

It is wise sometimes to just walk away from certain situations. When I was 19 years old, a certain Ben told me to never act out of impulse because most times it makes you do or say some certain things that you can never take back. 

What he said never made sense until a few years later. We are brought up in a world where our parents try their best to shield us from certain realities. I am not saying our parents are wrong. They are very right to protect us because just like mama said when we were young, they are not going to always be there.

 When you step out of their shield area, you are exposed to a world where people have no regard for other people’s emotions or well being, You step into a society where every man is for himself.

Role Parents Play

I am so proud of my parents for teaching us about certain life issues and harsh realities about people even though their knowledge alone is not enough. I guess experiencing it all teaches you lessons that you cannot forget. My prayer is that when I am a mother, I will be as good as my mother. Strong enough  to let my children face some things on their own.

I pray that when my little sister, my nephews and nieces grow up, they will find the world a better place. They will have real friends who are not after what they have to offer or who are not jealous beings. I pray that they can be themselves without going through any type of discrimination or backlash because God forbid they are different. 

My Role

But I will always be there to offer them a shoulder because reality will in one way or another hit. But the good thing is that it will not hurt as much as it did for me. I will teach them all that I have learnt. With every generation after me, the impact will be less. Till they can some day go into the world smarter than I was. I learnt from my mother, because she taught me what she learnt. And she let me into the world smarter.

My heart shatters into pieces when I think of the times that people who were friends let me down. I sometimes reflect on what has happened after I moved out alone and the lessons I have learnt are enough to fill a book. I know I have a story which is untold. A story that makes me cry when I think about it. I have made it this far because God gave me the courage and the strength to move on. Not everyone will understand my story, so I will keep it for those who are willing to listen and learn. 

Parting Shot

I have gone through stuff that only God could see me out of. But I made sure that along the way I never stepped on anyone. And if I did, I always apologize. Live your life knowing that every person has a story. Some stories are worse than mine. That is why I forgive easily. Not because the Bible says so, but because I want to. I chose to believe that everyone is going through something and I chose to overlook the wrong, but I never forget. Call me dumb, I call me human.

That is the end of this article. I hope you learnt something

Always remember that Tomorrow Will Be Better. 

Next post is on Thursday

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