Men are more emotional than women, a research shows
Have you ever felt like you were stuck in a certain situation and you did not know how to get out of it because no one really got the situation? It is like sleep paralysis. You think you can do something but you cannot because you are stuck. Just to be clear, this article is about men.
We all feel like our whole world is crumbling at times. We all experience that moment where we want to cry and scream but all one can do is cry under their sheets. May it be that you lost someone or you lost a job. Your bosses maybe are on your neck, you got heart broken or things seem to not be working out, just know that tomorrow will always be better. Tell that to yourself each and every day.
I sometimes feel like the world is out to get me. But I have learnt to look into the mirror and try to see what someone else would see in me or about me. And damn right I always feel better because I am a strong woman. This week I decided to do a little bit of research on men. I have always wanted to write an article on the Fridays for Men category. But I have never really had any content. This article will be based on the thoughts of three men on one particular topic.
But before I get to that, I have a message for every woman out there. Always remember that you are beautiful and you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Also, remember that men too have feelings and believe it or not, those creatures that are half as good looking as we are, are human too. And in whatever you do in this life, always know that actions have consequences. So, always try and leave as little of a mess as you can when you leave. You will understand this statement later.
WHAT DO YOU REALLY FEEL RIGHT NOW?
The above question is what I asked three different people. One was a random campus guy in a matatu, the other is a close friend who is not married and the third person was one of my friends’ friend who is married. The three answers will leave you amazed. This is not what most guys talk about with women. Men too are human. Please keep reading.
Let us call guy number one Mbugua, guy number two Mark and guy number three Kinoti. I have compiled what they told me into paragraphs.
“To be honest, I have never really had someone to ask me this question. I am from work but I am also a student at the same time. I feel overwhelmed, frustrated and tired. And I am hungry and confused. I am a student who pays half his fees, and takes the HELB loan which barely keeps me afloat in school.Then I have to keep a balance between my work, school, social and personal life. But truth is, I am doing terribly at it too. I can not remember the last time I had a day off for myself. I feel like I need a break but a break for me is very expensive right now. Sometimes, I see other people having it easy and spending money without a care and yes, I want that a little. But I want stability first.
I am a man in today’s society where as a young man, I am forgotten. This is not part of your question but sometimes I do feel like it is becoming harder for the boy child to survive(he laughs nervously as he takes out a handkerchief to wipe his brows).
Last year, I lost both my mom and my girlfriend. I love my mom and she is the reason why I never ended up like the guys back in the village. Honestly, I miss her you know. I am not allowed to cry because I am a man and I am not allowed to talk about it a lot because it is a sign of weakness on my part. But I wonder when talking about your emotions or being emotional became so wrong. Anyway, talking about mom will make me tear up in this matatu and we do not want that. (I spot a tear and at this point I was starting to feel bad for asking the question).
My girlfriend is alive, but she left me because apparently I had an accent and I do not take her out to clubs. Sorry, I do not want to talk much about her but I am so glad that she left. I would never be compatible with her anyway.
Right now I am just letting things happen at their own time and praying to God because he has never failed me. So if you ask me what I feel, I guess I will say that I feel like I need a breakthrough because most things are not working as I thought they would.”
“To be honest, I chose not to feel a long time ago. Nowadays, I think. If you feel all the time you end up hurt, in fear and stuck. I used to feel when I hurt a couple of girls and then Karma got me by giving me a heartbreak too. I was or still is in love with this one woman. Every time I feel, I just pinch myself and my head kicks in to think for the rest of the body. At the end of the day, what matters is that I am healthy because life moves on.
But if I have to feel, I feel bad that I am being paid half what I deserve. And the fact is I chose to work so that I can raise capital for a small business. But every time you think you are getting there, something in form of corruption, women or fake friends is there to knock you down.
Tell me, when was the last time you went through the day without hearing that money was stolen. Yet we are here working our a**es off for a government that seems to only care about how fat its pockets are. Need I mention that basic commodities are way expensive than just saving up and leaving the country all together. You starve for a month and trust me, you get a ticket to another country and a house full of food. Even mama wa kufua will not be needed. Plus at least you can walk on good roads and not worry about dirty shoes or mud.
Then someone has the audacity to tell me to work 6 days a week from 7-7 without extra pay. Then God forbid you get home and some heartless bastard robs you off what you worked hard for. You cannot make it to work the following day because you have no money or phone to call your boss. You manage to call your boss later that morning and guess what! You are incompetent and without a chance to defend or redeem yourself, just like that, you are fired.
My point is, try to live in the moment. Do not stress so much about tomorrow when you are here today, right? I mean, you only die once!”
“I honestly feel happy. Not because I have made it in life or I am where I want to be, but basically because I am where I need to be. Life is not always fair but I always try to make the most out of any situation. I am grateful for my beautiful wife Ann too. She has blessed me with two beautiful babies. (I kid you not, his kids are gorgeous).
My Ann is beautiful inside out and I am glad I chose her to be by my side. And to be the mother of our beautiful children. I know this will sound cliche but, I feel that she is perfect for me. Fair enough, she is not a perfect human being. But everything about her makes me feel like I would literally take a bullet for her. I had other choices before her but they did not fit perfectly into my life.
I am happy that I have a good relationship with my friends and parents. I guess when you grow older you realize what really matters. And you stop caring for what is not important.
A few years back, I used to care about money and getting a wife. But I now realize that everything has its own timing. I guess my parents were right after all. As long as you are doing something about your current situation, one day, things will work out. And those things will not worry you anymore.
I have had my share of being very imperfect. And I might have hurt people who cared about me. But nowadays I am focusing on being a better man especially for my wife and kids.
So, if you ask me what I feel right now, I will just say that I feel content.”
These three answers not only say that men have a lot on their plate too, but also, that they are human beings who are capable of making mistakes. I used to think that all men are out there to break hearts. But that is not the case. Fair enough, there are those men who just need divine intervention. But the majority are good. If you got hurt, maybe it was because you guys were not compatible.
One day you will get someone who sweeps you off your feet. And maybe then, you will understand what I am talking about. I know, there is more to this statement because men do mess up a lot. But don’t we all? If you can not live with it, leave.
Everybody is human and everyone is going through something. Try be nice to everyone each and every day. Be someones blessing. Be the reason why someone smiles today. The world can use one more nice person. Don’t you think so?
No matter what you are going through today, always remember that tomorrow will be a better day. And, remember to pray, because He surely answers.
Next post is on Monday.